Hi everybody. I recently bought this very expensive, red label, Hugo Boss suit. Yes. This very one pictured here on the highly-paid, professionally groomed model.
I bought it because, lately, I've been getting a lot of auditions to play lawyers, and agents, and American Psychos. My last suit was ten years old. I got it for free because I worked on a TV show where I played a stockbroker, and it just doesn't look fashionable anymore. I found myself walking into waiting rooms at auditions and sitting next to famous guys; the kind who used to be on shows with "Melrose" in the title. Shows that featured the word "Creek" or the word "24". None of their suits were ten years old.
The only weapon I had was my VISA card. "I'm an actor," I told the sales guy at the store in Beverly Hills who pinned the hem on my 600 dollar pants that fell neatly to the heel of my beat-up Nikes. "Yeah," he said. "I could tell."
I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing but when I walked out the door 1100 dollars poorer, I felt pretty good about myself.
