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July 03, 2009

Shoulder Cancer 2034.

Kenzie_MN4
Kenzie_MN2
Kenzie writes: "...Hey Chris, Last sunday i decided to stay out in the sun without putting extra sunscreen on. As a result, I got a nasty sun burn on my shoulders that has blistered and is now excreting a yellowish liquid. This was quite the painful experience. Please feel sorry for me. Kenzie, Minnesota."

May 17, 2009

LA Stories

070531_Kobe_earthquake
Hello Cute with Chris viewers. I'm trying to get my blog posts together for tomorrow but my apartment building here in LA keeps shaking and rumbling with violent seismic quaking. Ahhh...life in CALIFORNIA. If there are no further posts, that means I'm lying unconscious under a pile of rubble. Which would also be kind of exciting because gaping head injuries caused by an earthquake would mean I win International Feel Sorry for Yourself Day!  

Feel Sorry for Me.

Sammy_Victoria_Sara
Sara from BC writes: "...Dear Chris, I feel sorry for myself because I have this new guy in my life these last 4 weeks and already I have noticed that he NEVER makes eye contact with me and is obsessed with my boobs. Like REALLY obsessed. His focus never rises above nipple height and I know for sure he has no idea what colour my eyes are. He doesn't seem to listen to anything I say and I bet he couldn't even tell you my name if you asked him. What should I do? Sara in Victoria."

May 16, 2009

Dumped

Mrnibbles
Hi Chris: I recently graduated from college and was moving out of my apartment so I could stay with my boyfriend for a week before I headed home.  He came over and helped me put all my things in my car and then broke up with me.  Awesome. Luckily, I had a friend to stay with so I could stay and drink my sorrows away in a college town.  When my now ex returned my things, he included all the things I had given him I didn't want my parents to find in my room over the summer.  These items were then placed into random recycling bins after a night in the bars.  He also generously included a pair of his old woolen socks, so yeah, thanks for those.  I guess I'll put them on so I can take them off when I find my next conquest. We had also adopted a guinea pig together.  I had to give him to my little sister because my ex was severely allergic to everything I love. I sent his picture in before, but you never posted it.  Now he's dead. I guess he doesn't have to go through the pain of being a pet in a relationship that went to poo (watching my language for teen viewers). I've included a picture of my poor deceased guinea pig and a pic of me enjoying the single life. -Mandy, 22teen, MN

Singlelife

May 15, 2009

Let's Feel Sad.

Shin_chan_atshina
Tashina in CALIFORNIA sends this picture of her husband and their puppy. She writes: "...Hello Chris. I came home from work a couple days ago to find a most disturbing early birthday surprise. My little Boston Terrier pup, Shin Chan, was lying dead in the yard. My hubby says he thought he was acting funny, and hadn't eaten his food from the previous day. We think he may have eaten something poisonous."

Feel Sorry for Me.

Butt
Laura in MINN age 34teen writes: "...Ouch. Chris. I fell down the stairs."

International Feel Sorry for Yourself Day.

Rae2
Rae has two degrees. She recently posted them for sale on EBay because they're useless. READ MORE HERE.

May 14, 2009

International I'm So Fucking Great Day.

Lasers please-Amanda-Oregon
Amanda from OREGON writes: "...Dear Chris, I really wanted to be a part of INTERNATIONAL FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF DAY so I tried writing you an email describing why I feel sorry for myself. Sadly for you, I don't feel sorry for myself. I have a great life, love my job, have amazing kids, a loving husband and a dog that is amazing. My car is new-ish, my house is recently remodeled and I have time for my hobbies. Also, I recently lost about 30 lbs and compete in triathlons. I am fucking fabulous. I mean, I guess I could pout that I can't come to your Vancouver show, but really? I'll hate to miss, but not enough to feel sorry for myself. Amanda, 36, Oregon PS: These are my dogs. They're great."

IFS4YD

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Jennifer in MICHIGAN writes: "...I have not had any incidents that have fallen upon me to make myself feel especially sorry for myself this week, but on the other hand my sister's boyfriend sure has a doozy."  CLICK HERE FOR THE DOOZY.

May 13, 2009

It's Fun to Feel Sorry for Things.

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Chelsea in OHIO writes: "...I burned the top of my hand while pouring my boiling water into my tea cup awhile ago, leaving some nasty burns. They didn't look bad for the first week or so, but eventually bubbled up. It was pretty painful as it was, and I was stupid and didn't go to the doctors and instead tried every remedy I could think of. Solercaine was probably the worst idea, it burns and makes you nearly punch the person putting it on you. Anyways, on top of the burn, I closed a very hot tortilla press on top of my burns, and in the same day, smashed it on the edge of a wall at work, ripping my burned skin open. It was nasty and infected and had some nasty watery stuff coming out for awhile. Oh, and I could slide the skin on the entire top of my hand around into weird wrinkly positions because of the watery crap under it. It took over 2 months to heal."

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